The Jackson Hole People’s Market seems like a great way to spend a Wednesday night. Local food, beer on tap and live music. After doing very little research we have found that the People’s Market is, in fact, not fun at all. Here is why.
Reason # 1 – Local beer only
It seems crazy that in this day in age people are still drinking good beer. The fact that you can’t fill up your mug with a Bud Light on the rocks is barbaric.
Reason # 2 – All the food is fresh
Last I checked there were no astronauts coming back to earth just to get fresh food. As the number one perk to being in space is the food it would follow logic that, given the choice, we should be eating freeze dried ice cream sandwiches every day. There are no freeze dried ice cream space sandwiches at the People’s Market. Bull$#!&.
Reason # 3 – Too many bikers
Jackson is seeing all time traffic congestion highs as you read this. And “locals” that are “biking” to the “farmers market with a happy hour” are clogging our lungs with clean air and giving us less traffic to yell at during rush hour. Remember, you’re not in traffic – you are traffic. And nobody likes a quitter.
Reason # 4 – Bike-in movies are free
Speaking of biking – the movie watching experience should revolve around spending $30 on a ticket, popcorn and a soda. Here you hang out on you own favorite blanket, and drink stupid local craft beer (see above). Disgusting.
Reason # 5 – You have to meet your farmer
Not sure about you but we enjoy a healthy disconnect in our food supply. At the People’s Market you actually have to see the super rad farmer behind the food you eat. They were probably playing in dirt all morning too. Yuck!
Reason # 6 – The market supports the local economy
When you purchase something at the market, that means a local farmer or vendor can go sailing in Mexico for a vacation or even worse - send their children to college to drink beer and chase (wo)men. If you’re like us, and want all of the dollars to go OUT of the Jackson area, go to “Shmar-shmucks” instead of the Market and send your dollars to Seattle. Don’t forget to leave your reusable coffee mug at home either.
Reason # 7 – The live music is loud
It is a scientific fact that live music is louder than no music. You can’t argue science.
There you have it. The worst event in Jackson, every Wednesday 4-7 all summer long. And we’ll see you there